It's just like the Real World with babies
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
