The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize