I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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