went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
