I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
