but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize