There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
