Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
