i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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