Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
