Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
