Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Randomize
