i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
