OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
