yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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