Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
