Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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