i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
