shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
