i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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