Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
