it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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