Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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