I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You can't just leave with hair like that
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
