somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
