I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
