He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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