Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
