So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
