Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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