So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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