woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
