You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
