i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
