I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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