Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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