Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
