So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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