At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wear drunk well.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
