Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
