rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
