Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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