i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
