every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
