Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
