unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
