sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He passed out mid-signature
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
