i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
