How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
