well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
