I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love having hate sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
