how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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