not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
