i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
