so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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