i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
