it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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