Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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