cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
