its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your cock deserves a montage
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
