did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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