Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
