I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I forget how to act sober
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
