apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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