She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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