do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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