During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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