we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
