Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize