there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
