she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
