She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This baby is an asshole
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
