u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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