oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He has the fingertips of a God
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