just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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