I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
