So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
