I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
